I started washing and putting away my roommates favorite mug whenever she uses it. When she caught me I lied about why.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/wearejustroomies
Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest
I started washing and putting away my roommates favorite mug whenever she uses it. When she caught me I lied about why.
Mood Spoilers: wholesome, positive, and happy!
Original Post: March 3, 2025
I (30M) share an apartment with my friend (30F), I'll call her Gwen.
Gwen has a lot of mugs, more than will fit in the cup cupboard all at once. So she rotates them seasonally, she loves swapping them out. I asked why and she says it's like getting new mugs every couple months. But there are two mugs in her collection that never leave the kitchen. They are rarely in the cupboard because the second they are washed she uses them again.
We have a dishwasher, but it's broken. Part of our chore division is that we each take care of our own dishes. The thing is I know she doesnt like doing her dishes, its a sensory thing, but she insisted that we do our own dishes and I thought that was pretty fair. I also know that Gwen's most favorite is her Spiderman mug. She's never told me that, I can just tell because the spiderman mug gets picked before any of the others when its clean. I know this because I see it in the sink every day for her to wash before bed with her other dishes from the day. There were times that her dishes sat for a couple days before she could force herself to work through the sensory issues and get them done. It never got to the point of smelling bad, and she apologized every time for any dishes she left overnight. I truly did not mind when that happened. I understand the sensory issues and I'm proud of her for keeping on top of it as much as she was.
Now comes the part I need to get off my chest, the background info was important I promise! Every time Gwen realises she can use her Spiderman mug she dances an adorable happy dance while making her tea for the morning. She doesn't seem to realise she's dancing, or doesn't realise I noticed her dancing. Either way, it's my favorite part of the day when I am getting ready for work and she dances a happy dance while getting her breakfast because she gets to use her Spiderman mug every single morning. It's seriously cheers her up and she's been a lot more positive throughout the day since I started doing this.
Gwen found me washing her dishes last week. I had been doing them for a while, but this was the first time she walked in and caught me bubble-handed washing her Spiderman mug. Not gonna lie I panicked. She thanked me for helping her and then asked why I started to do her dishes too. She even asked if I was annoyed by her dishes when she left them. This was absolutely not the case, but I couldn't tell her I watch her happy dances, that's creepy right? But it's so cute and makes me so happy to see her so happy. If she knew I watched her dance she would feel self conscious and stop doing them. She's pretty shy about stuff like that. She won't sing in front of anyone, but singing is one of her favorite things to do and I've caught her singing along to her music before she realises I'm home more than she realises, I also pretend not to notice when that happens, she has a really pretty voice. So yeah, I couldn't tell her why I'm really doing her dishes or I would loose my favorite part of my day.
I told her I like to get mine done every night, its something my mom always told me to do, I was already there so it wasn't a big deal to do hers too, it saves water and she does a few of the house hold chores that I hate because she likes them, so I don't mind doing this one tiny extra chore that she doesnt like. I feel like I was pretty obviously not telling the truth, but I think she believed me lol. She didnt tell me to stop and she hasn't brought it up since she caught me. So I still get to see her happy dances when she goes in the kitchen and sees her Spiderman mug ready for her to start the day.
Tl:Dr I wash my roommate's favorite mug every night to give her something to look forward to in the mornings. She does a little happy dance every time she uses her mug and it makes me happy to see her that happy.
Edit 1: alright, I'm headed to bed, thank you all for your comments. To clarify we are just friends, we are roommates now, but we were friends first. Anyways, it's been fun, but it's 5 am and I have an appointment at 10 am. This should be fun! Good night!
Edit 2: it is now 9am. I just woke up to so many notifications, jesus h christ what happened while I was napping? Thank you everyone for your responses. I did not expect my habit, that I thought would be seen as weird or creepy, to get so much attention. I'm so glad so many of you got a smile from my post, as you can tell, I like to give people a reason to smile. I hope you all have an awesome day!
Edit 3: Guys she found the fucking post. SCATTER! No for real. She commented on this post, she made an account specifically to comment. How. How. How did this happen and how did it happen so god damned fast??? I didnt think she was on reddit! Shes always on youtube watching video games or listening to stories! She used a picture of The Mugᵀᴹ as the profile pic. I'm panicking. I'll update when I'm brave enough to go out to the kitchen. I can hear her cooking.
Edit 4: so I linked a picture with an update and the automod did not likey. So I have removed the link, but the update is still on my profile, for anyone interested.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: this is honestly the sweetest thing ever. The way you go out of your way just to make her mornings a little brighter is top-tier wholesome
OOP: It seems like such a little thing to do, just an easy ten minutes, if that, for me and her whole day is better.
Commenter 2: You're both good room-mates, I'm so proud of you both! It's not easy getting along with someone in your space.
OOP: I've never been as happy at home as I am with Gwen. She's so easy to live with, and any problems we have had we have been able to talk over and resolve. It's almost too good to be true, but we do bicker a lot, I make fun of her for wearing crocs nearly 24/7 and she laughs every time she hears me swearing at my bed after I stub my toe on it. I do that at least twice a week, I am an idiot lol!
Commenter 3: Well after all the awful crap that I come across on Reddit every single day, a post like this is so refreshing.
OP, this is adorable. Does Gwen know you're in love with her? Because she should.
OOP: I mean we say I love you to each other when we leave the apartment, but we are just friends.
OOP explains why he says I love you
OOP: One of our friends passed away a few years ago, it almost ended our whole group. His house was the hang out spot, he liked to do the planning for things, he kept us together by being the person we all wanted to be around. Losing him was the hardest thing ive gone through, we were like brothers. So now we all make sure to tell each other how we feel, we ask for help when we need it and we always always say love you instead of goodbye.
How did OOP and Gwen meet?
OOP: We met through a mutual friend group and when we realised we were both looking for a place to live and we got along really well it just made sense. So far, it's paying off.
Update #1: March 3, 2025 (same day, nine hours later)
And wait for it.... Update!
I can't actually post an update in trueoffmychest so soon after my first post. So here's a small update. We talked a little bit over breakfast, I'm officially a fan of tea now lol. She thinks I'm an idiot and I agree, but she's not mad about the post or about me creeping on her mug inspired happy dances.
All said and done, I think making that post was the best 5am decision I've ever made. Gwen says hi everyone 🩷.
Relevant Comments
OOP's thoughts on Gwen
OOP: I was watching her work in the living room today and it kinda just made me realise why I feel different, but also completely the same. I still have the same feelings of friendship, but it's like going from a familiar room to another room that's bigger, but it has the same paintings as the first room, there's just more wall space for more paintings now. I hope that makes sense, I said it to Gwen and she asked if I was high lol!
I'll just leave this here 😏: March 3, 2025 (same day, seven hours later)
Transcript of the chat
Outrageous-Can6185: You're a dork.
I made you tea for after your zoom call.
OOP: What mug is it so I know how this is about to go down*
Outrageous-Can6185: "Snoo smile"
The pumpkin one
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Wait for real???? Are you together now?? Cuz boy, you have fallen hard!!!
OOP: The pumpkin mug is her second favorite, if that tells you anything and it should.
I can neither confirm nor deny what conversations were had over our tea and toast this morning 😏
For real though, we are going to do an update, we want to have more time to discuss things and figure out where we land and we will post an update once we feel more comfortable. The fallout from this post has been a lot to handle on top of trying to figure out how to share without oversharing, we are usually pretty private people. I never imagined my silly post about doing the dishes would end up changing so much, but I wouldn't change a damn thing.
Commenter 2: Congrats king 👑 y’all are meant for each other (non of ur mugs better out do her favorite mug).
OOP: I'm more of a water bottle guy, the mugs in the house are all hers so no risk of mug competition. Although I might order her a custom one for a special occasion some day but never with the intention to make her change what her favorite is.
Update #2: March 5, 2025 (two days later)
Good morning yall! A couple days ago I made a post at 3 in the morning to confess to doing my roommates dishes because I secretly love to watch her do a happy dance when she sees her favorite mug is clean for her to use again. That post changed our lives and I'm only being a little dramatic by saying that.
I gotta say thanks to everyone who upvoted and commented on my original post, I'm still shook at just how many people read about me and my mug happy best friend. The amount of people saying my post made them smile or reminded them of their own friendships or significant others has kept me smiling for days. I'm kind of into making people happy, if that wasnt already obvious, so the fact that so many people had even a moment of positivity because of me has been awesome.
When I made that original post it was because I just wanted to tell someone about the mug dancing but I knew Gwen wouldn't like it if I told anyone we knew so I came to reddit to shout to the void and oh boy, did the void shout back. There were so many comments asking if I really thought we were just friends, and I'll be honest when I made that post we absolutely were just friends. We had never talked about being more than friends and I was happy being friends because we have an amazing friendship. I hadn't really thought about there being a possibility for more because dating was always something I planned to do when I had my life together or when I had more money. I never let myself consider what I was missing out on by waiting for the "right time."
Her finding my post opened up the chance for Gwen and I to talk about things that we hadn't before and over breakfast that morning we found where we stood with each other and what we thought things could look like moving forward depending on what we both agreed was the best course. We didn't make any solid plans or decisions and didn't want to rush into something that would ruin the good we already had going for us, but I'll admit I was hoping for a specific outcome.
There was one comment on that first post that had really caught my attention. To paraphrase, they told me to think about how I would feel if someone else got to see Gwen do her happy mug dance instead of me and it hit me so hard. I didn't mind the idea of someone else seeing her so happy. I just dont know if anyone she dates would notice what I did and decide to do what I did. What if they didn't care or didn't think it was that important or any of the other things I do to make her laugh or smile. I really didn't like the thought of not being there to make sure she has that extra reason to smile in the morning. (Gwen wants me to admit that I'm a sappy moron because I teared up writing this. Im a sensitive man in touch with my emotions and you know you love it so shut it you 😝.)
To all the people saying it's possible for platonic relationships to be like ours you are absolutely correct. Our friend group is very open with physical and verbal affection and we help each other all time with big and small things. We all say I love you to each other, it's just normal communication for us as a group, not just between Gwen and I. Honestly, if I hadn't made my original post I'm not sure when or if we would have gotten to the point we are now. Maybe we would have continued as we were and that would have been just as happy of an outcome, just a different one, like a choose your own adventure with multiple options for a good resolution.
Which brings me to the actual update. Gwen and I agreed we want to try dating. We aren't putting a new label on our relationship yet, but our first date is next week. I'm making it all a surprise. Gwen helped write this post and will be reading the comments so I can't give any details, but it's going to be the best first date she has ever been on, or I'll eat my candy corn patterned socks. I think she might be the one for me and I'm going to take every chance I can to make sure she thinks the same about me.
Yall are the best and we love you. Do something kind for your loved ones for us and everyone can and should find something to happy dance about, it makes life more fun.
Love Gwen and Peter 🩷 🕸.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Yippieee it finally happened!! I'm so happy for you two, and kinda jealous too (I have a friend that makes me really happy but the chances of us dating is close to zero so...).
I hope everything goes well for you two and please promise me and specially her that, if it doesn't work, you'll remain being friends because your relationship is really pure!!
Thank you for the update!!!
OOP: Yeah we're definitely being very cautious about taking this step. There will be lots of conversations and checking in to make sure we don't mess things up.
Commenter 2: The only thing I can say to both of you is this:
You have a charming innocence around you. Don't take it for granted. Be aware of it, treasure it, and nurture it. This doesn't have to end and it can get better. Always assume the best of each other, be kind, and don't be passive-aggressive or hold grudges.
OOP: We both come from pretty dysfunctional families. Half of hers don't even talk to each other and I haven't seen my mother in years, thank the lord for small mercies lol. So when we agreed to be roommates respectful communication became our top priority.
Commenter 3: This isn’t quite on topic, but OP, how did you find such an empathetic and close group of friends? I have always wanted that but have a hard time connecting with people. It sounds really wholesome.
OOP: So the people who started our group were three buddies, they were friends all through middle and high school and stuck together after. Everyone else has been added to the group after being "vetted". We invite people to hang out a few times with the group, if we feel they would be a good fit we keep inviting them. It's a bit like a club, but doing it this way makes sure only people who mesh well enough with everyone are added. Gwen was already pretty much part of the group when I was invited to a movie night, that was the first time we met. I can't tell you how to meet people that youll connect with, I'm sorry. The person who invited me was someone I work with, we went for drinks after work a couple times before she asked if I wanted to go to a movie night her friends were planning and I didn't have anything better to do. You just need to be willing to talk to strangers until they aren't strangers anymore and see if they are someone you think would be a positive influence in your life.
OOP gives advice on relationships
OOP: The best advice I can give you is to want change. If you aren't happy, for the love of all that's holy, CHANGE. Sit down with your partner and say you aren't happy and that things need to change. Figure out if you want to change together and be a team against the issue or if things would be better off with you going your separate ways.
Ending a relationship does not erase all the good times you've had with them, but it opens the door for the potential of new good times with someone else.
+
It will only get harder the longer you wait. You deserve peace and happiness, even if it means it's not with this person. They also deserve peace and happiness, I wonder if you approach it from that angle of saying you are unhappy and you feel like they are unhappy too and you want to team up to figure this out. The more you wait the more you build it up in your head to the point where you'll feel it's not worth trying. You are worth it, they are worth it.
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